writing

i know that they know they think they know how i am going to sound, but i know that they cant know. how can i lower their expectations?

does honesty equal beauty?

there's a lot of people in the room tonight, and theyre people i know, and im going to share a very private thing with them, and im scared its not going to be beautiful.

right now i need this. i need to have nothing, so that i cannot lose, but even more so that i can feel.

i need to feel. if i can feel i can feel into that note that i wrote.

the words on the page.

am i any good? or, in the words of conor oberst, is everything ive written cheap...and trite....and false?

am i ok with these words? uncertainty. bleed in me humility.

where did i go?

self-conscious speculation

in the crowds,

and you dont know

the level in which i scare myself.

But, Jesus, please calm me down. peace, right now, is my friend. peace is not the enemy. is peace ever the enemy? is melancholy the enemy? Jesus please calm me down. I have need of you.